Ask Ciiku: How do I remain friends pt. 2

q2

To clarify: no, I am not afraid it will turn into aggression. I meant ‘safe’ as in without hurting his feelings or making him self conscious. But i understand it’s a bit of an abstract question and something you wouldn’t be able to answer as it would be on his behalf. Right? But what could I avoid saying? Should I be straight to the point?

Dear Anon,

Thank you for your clarification.

If the man has developed romantic feelings for you, I doubt there is way to tell him you do not reciprocate his feelings without him getting somewhat hurt. I don’t know if you need to hear this but I am going to say it anyway, there is a likelihood that the dude will want nothing to do with you and you must prepare yourself for that and accept it.

I get wanting to soften the blow and maybe saying it simply and honestly will be what I would suggest. “I am sorry but I do not have romantic feelings for you. I would like to remain friends but I understand if you do not want the same thing” may be an option that is honest, simple and kind. Trust your ability to say the right thing, after all you indicate that you have a friendship.

Best of luck,

Ciiku

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