Ask Ciiku: How do I turn my life around?

I’m turning 26 coming week. I haven’t had a job for like 4 years now. The course I took isn’t as marketable. Tried a handbag business and it didn’t go so far since I didn’t have any guidance from anyone.. My question is, how do I turn my life around this cycle of brokenness? I’m honestly so frustrated and can’t even stand myself. Pls help


Dear Anon,

First of all, I know this is belated, happy birthday.

At times I read the letters I get and I know what people are going through but none of the questions has reverberated with me like yours did. Because I know, I KNOW what it is you are talking about. That cycle of brokenness? I am there. That frustration? I feel it. I am so sorry.

You do what you are meant to do, work hard, go to school but things don’t always go as we were told they would. I know what you are feeling. I have gone and continue to go through periods of darkness where it seems that life itself is pointless.

People will tell you many things, how young you are with your whole life ahead of you. Or that you should be grateful for the things you do have. Or that things will get better. But none of this makes a difference, right anon?? That feeling stays with you.

You need to regain some semblance of hope. That is what I tell myself and that is what I pass on to you. Hope. That the proverbial light is at the end of the tunnel of despair.

I am a strong proponent in being in your feelings whether positive or negative. Feeling them, analysing them and then after, figuring out how to work with what you have. And every day, little things that you can do that will make you feel better about yourself, spending time with yourself and with those who love you.

I wish I had a magic wand that would give you a job or a business that is profitable but I do not. And telling you to be patient sounds like such a cliche but sometimes that is the thing to hold on to.

I am not even sure I have helped you because it is a difficult place to be. I do hope you find a way back to you.



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