I have a Polaroid camera and I would take pictures with people who came to our home. I put the Polaroids up along the corridor.
I occasionally look at these pictures and when I do, I’m fascinated by how people weave in and out of our lives.
I was in Yaya Center this week and I had a vivid memory of being there with someone no longer in my life. They are one of the people who features on this picture wall.
When relationships end, friendships specifically in this case, there is, generally speaking, a desire to look for meaning. There are friendships that end, not due to strife or tension. People change and as a result, friendships change, you drift apart and it ends.
Do you usually carry out an autopsy when it ends?
I do, depending on the level of closeness and how affected I am.
Another person I randomly thought about this week stopped talking to me. Just like that. From speaking every single day to nil by mouth. With no reason that I could deduce. That situation fascinates me on the rare occasion I think about it.
Do you grieve a lost friendship?
I am fascinated and mildly amused by people who ACT as if losing a friendship is this easy thing that you just brush your shoulder off and move on from. Like it shouldn’t affect you. Emotional detachment is what they call it. It’s lack of emotional intelligence in my opinion (I do get the appeal of avoiding your feelings, I don’t think it’s healthy though).
Because you know what? It’s not easy.
It’s painful. You have camaraderie with someone and then it ceases to exist. You chose this person to be in your life, you shared moments and felt things. And then… POOF!
And I fully believe in honouring my feelings, feeling my feelings…. You know?
I don’t dwell on it though.
4 thoughts on “Yaya Center and the Memories of a Friendship”
Maaaan!! This took me back to a place of such hurt.. friendship breakups are so hard! Have one that ended in hot tears and complete emotional shut down on my part that I doubt I’ll ever truly recover from.
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I also had a VERY close friend who just stopped talking to me. Same way- from talking and hanging out every weekday- maybe twice a day (we were workmates) to zero. Blank face. Do I know you? Blocked me on Facebook. Drama! I don’t have many friends, so the few I have, I cherish. That had me thinking, and trying to figure out what happened for almost a year! Then I just decided to let it go. Human beings are quite something. I wonder about some who have dropped off along the way, none has shaken me like that one did.
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My very close workmate and friend stopped talking to me- same way. From a season of having good banter over tea and lunch breaks at work and hanging out during weekends and family functions to being looked at like a complete stranger. She did not talk to me from that point on. Blocked me on Facebook. Drama! My mind just could not comprehend; it took me almost a year to let go of that friendship. I don’t have many I call friend, but the few I have I cherish. May be too much- LOL!