I have a Polaroid camera and I would take pictures with people who came to our home. I put the Polaroids up along the corridor.
I occasionally look at these pictures and when I do, I’m fascinated by how people weave in and out of our lives.
I was in Yaya Center this week and I had a vivid memory of being there with someone no longer in my life. They are one of the people who features on this picture wall.
When relationships end, friendships specifically in this case, there is, generally speaking, a desire to look for meaning. There are friendships that end, not due to strife or tension. People change and as a result, friendships change, you drift apart and it ends.
Do you usually carry out an autopsy when it ends?
I do, depending on the level of closeness and how affected I am.
Another person I randomly thought about this week stopped talking to me. Just like that. From speaking every single day to nil by mouth. With no reason that I could deduce. That situation fascinates me on the rare occasion I think about it.
Do you grieve a lost friendship?
I am fascinated and mildly amused by people who ACT as if losing a friendship is this easy thing that you just brush your shoulder off and move on from. Like it shouldn’t affect you. Emotional detachment is what they call it. It’s lack of emotional intelligence in my opinion (I do get the appeal of avoiding your feelings, I don’t think it’s healthy though).
Because you know what? It’s not easy.
It’s painful. You have camaraderie with someone and then it ceases to exist. You chose this person to be in your life, you shared moments and felt things. And then… POOF!
And I fully believe in honouring my feelings, feeling my feelings…. You know?
I don’t dwell on it though.