Ask Ciiku: My Boyfriend Snoops on my Phone

Hello Ciiku.

I am in a relationship with someone who had initially tried to dump me cause he thought I had cheated on him after finding messages between me and an ex around Jan. I kinda liked him and didn’t let him go, its been 8 months since and I can say that the period has been very influential to my life. As at now we are good, but I am beginning to think he isn’t all that, his emotional intelligence is below there, general intelligence the same, my parents already know about him but I am beginning to think I played myself. He snoops through my phone while I’m sleeping, misunderstands conversations between me and my guy friends, accuses me of flirting but after warning him, he has promised to change. I am not sure I love him as much as I thought but this also could be FOMO? What do you think i should do?


Red Woman.

Dear Red Woman,

I’m interested in why you say that both of you are “good” yet it’s obvious you are not. What does being good look like to you? Also, why do you stay with him? If you were to be asked why you love him, what would you say? What do you fear missing out on exactly?

Of course you know what you need to do, which is leave the relationship but I am curious about your hesitance.

What sort of relationship would you like for yourself? What sort of characteristics do you desire from your partner? These are questions you should ask yourself as you look at yours. Because you obviously know you deserve “all that” and this fellow just ain’t it.

A relationship compounded with jealousy and unsubstantiated accusations of infidelity is not one I would wish on anyone. And that’s the bottom line.

All the best,



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