Fat and Confident

“Oh wow you are so confident!”

“When did you become so confident?”

“How did you become so confident?”

These things make my eyes roll so much. I follow enough fat people on Instagram to see how often this question about confidence is asked. It is so irksome that the expectation, the norm is that we fatties should be the opposite of confident.

You know what the undertone is, don’t you: How dare you be fat and confident? Why aren’t you hiding yourself?

The assumption is that fat people shouldn’t be happy, shouldn’t be showing themselves unless they are losing weight, pursuing thinness. Because that’s the capitalist agenda isn’t it? ….To always be in state of hating your body, yourself…. to always be comparing yourself, so you can buy things you don’t need to make yourself feel better. This is quadrupled when you are fat.

“It is a powerful lie to equate thinness with self-worth.”
Hunger – Roxane Gay

Many people cannot comprehend a fat person who isn’t in the pursuit of thinness. After all, the message is that thin people are PEOPLE and their thinness automatically grants them HUMANITY and therefore the GOAL has to be it.

What does it say about our culture that the desire for weight loss is considered a default feature of womanhood?
Hunger – Roxane Gay

That’s why people can’t wrap their minds around fat people being unbothered. And to be honest, it is annoying and people need to do better. End of.

Not related to this post but still about fatness: I liked this essay.


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