We know when we do things socialised into us, even when we KNOW we don’t want to do them but we do them. WHY DO WE DO THAT?
Some of us think we are aware or rather, we think we are in control, we are doing things because we want to do them but sometimes, because of these things being so ingrained in us, we are just maintaining the status quo.
We keep doing things we wouldn’t otherwise do
We give chances to people who don’t deserve them. We make space in our lives for people who don’t see our humanity. We think we can change people by kindness. We believe we can love people into loving us. We think servitude will make us worthy. We look at ourselves and criticise our bodies. We think being partnered to men will save us from the world. We derive our worth from being productive.
Things we shouldn’t be doing.
The other day I did something that was so unlike me that I even admonished myself for agreeing to do it. But I realised that some things, while I have unlearned them, are still ingrained in me. I try not to be too hard on myself but COME ON CIIKU!! Then I realise I should extend grace to myself. Because this life is a lot and I get why people do what is expected of them. I mean, I could never but I get it.
Congruently, when you do something knowingly that is not cool, is unkind or maintains the systems that keeps others oppressed, what does that say about you by the way?
And because this is in my spirit, let me also say the following:
I think people refuse to see that most times, when things seem to be working out or when certain bad/terrible things don’t happen to them it is squarely because of privilege and sheer luck. Yes, we want to feel like the special snowflake who has the world figured out. But nah pal… you just lucky.