Justifying Being Seen

Sometimes I go back to read what I have written and I am like “have I evolved/changed what I think about this certain matter?”. For example, this post.

I have come to realise that in many cases we can justify anything to ourselves. We can make a case that we don’t desire to be seen, a case for being hardened, a case for not sharing yourself because humans are fickle and will likely betray you.

Are these valid points? Yes.

As I mentioned in the first newsletter I sent out, I am invested in remaining soft in a world that pushes the message of being hard (sign up if you haven’t yet).

And in that mindset, I am invested in somehow letting go of the shackles of past mistakes, past hurt. And I’m trying to be as realistic as is possible in this endeavour. Because there is that utopian ideal that can sound so good especially when it’s a post on Instagram.

But yo! This is life. My life. And at the very least, even as I am not as engaged or attached to this thing, I need it to make sense as much as I possibly can given the circumstances.

To not perform. To be. To want. To need.

You know what I mean?

View this post on Instagram

Have you listened to our latest episode, “If These Walls Could Talk” ? [IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Being in community with others is necessary for our personal healing and collective liberation. It’s impossible to experience real connection without emotional vulnerability. We may be in relationships and around others, but still feel alone. Emotional vulnerability is a choice—and a risky one because we can’t control how others respond. We risk being rejected or judged. To keep ourselves from being emotionally vulnerable we may default to intellectually discussing experiences, or speak about our feelings in abstract, distanced ways. We may also over-share, spilling details in an ungrounded way without connecting with the person in front of us. If you have difficulty being emotionally vulnerable, do you struggle making eye contact? do you “steam roll” your listener? do you keep most of your inner thoughts to yourself? Emotional vulnerability is not simply speaking aloud to someone who is in your proximity. “Strong people” may present as capable and confident, and may make light of what we’re feeling as a deflection of what we’re really going through. This can be exhausting, and may give the impression that everything is “fine” when it's not. To make the most of being emotionally vulnerable, we can try to remain connected to our listener’s response and tuned-in to our body’s signals. This can open us up to receive intimacy, closeness and care from others at a pace that is right for us. If you’re feeling internal resistance, ask yourself if you’re truly ready to share. Your gut may be telling you it’s not safe right now. We can build safety in our relationships to discern whether we’re risking more than we’re able to lose. Try to start where you are and reveal as much as feels manageable. When afraid to share, we might say “I want to share something with you, but I’m feeling really scared about doing it,” and go from there—(continued in comments below)

A post shared by SEEN (@seenthepodcast) on

Would it seem ironic to end this post with an IG post I enjoyed?

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