Some time back I asked on Instagram whether people generally felt heard.
I think sometimes I like to imagine I am not heard but at the same time I have to question –
Am I speaking my truth?
Am I speaking to people who want to listen to me? (because let’s be real, people can’t always be able to hold space for me and other times, the people I want to listen to me don’t want to)
Am I listening to people?
In Midnight Gospel Episode 4, Trudy Goodman said a couple of things on listening which are relevant to this post:
- We have sonar for when people are deeply listening to us.
- To listen to each other requires a little bit of mindfulness. We have to recognize what’s going on in our own minds while we are listening.
- Listening, is how, like how we listen to our bodies – listening to the sounds of life around us that grounds us in the present moment, listening to our own inner voice and intuition. Every time I override that intuition, it is a disaster.
- Deep listening protects our aliveness.
The thing about knowing when someone is deeply listening to us, is how we know we aren’t heard. So what do you do with that? About that? Why keep talking to someone who doesn’t listen? A projection perhaps?
I don’t know.