You know, I am always wondering whether most of us are living the lives our parents want for us and/or the life society wants us to live or what we want. The truth is that our decisions do not happen in a vacuum and therefore it is a tricky situation all around.
Hegemony.
That domesticity thing we do is a performance of femininity as prescribed by society. The things done so a man can pick you, so one can be chosen is a performance. And we do it because you’ve been told a man choosing you gives you validation as a human and a sense of worth.
The other day my mum was talking about how she has started using some of her special/good dishes instead of waiting for visitors and I was telling her how even that is a performance; leaving the best for other people instead of ourselves. Even when I watch house shows and see people talk about how they “love to host” I sometimes feel like that is seen as a requirement for life and therefore we perform it even if hosting causes us anxiety. I mean, I have been there. Never have I felt so settled as when I decided that I did not want people in my house.
And that is why some project onto people who are living their truth, who are bold enough to say that this is who I am and this is what I will or won’t do. It bothers us when people stand in their “no” or “yes” because they refuse to swayed by expectations.
In related news, I have been thinking about personality recently spurred on by a TikTok video that I watched. And most of what we consider personality is performance. I wrote about it briefly in my newsletter. Thanks for subscribing to it.
Addendum
Sometimes I feel like I am talking in circles but I think I am mostly working through my thoughts on this blog.
Are you truly living in the fullness of yourself?
Ciiku 