Optimists or Idiocy?

Sometimes I listen to Kenyans talk about this country and I am perturbed.

Most of the population are like ostriches. Head in the sand vibes.

Because as this song says, do you see anything to smile about?

We are basically in a choke hold by the political elite and some of you believe that if you become wealthy enough you can protect yourself the issues of this country. Or that if you keep yourself busy enough, you can ignore what is happening in this country?

And then there are some who somehow believe that politicians are leaders.


At this point you must know that politicians want power. They do not want to lead or be leaders. (there is a big difference between being a leader and wanting power).

And it’s abundantly clear they are not interested in that. At all.

A gentle reminder that they don’t care. And never will.

Yeah yeah yeah we know so what is the solution?

Let me preface this by saying that I don’t think we can vote our way to freedom. Every single “revolutionary” person who has been voted in has been swayed by power and the money that comes with it. At this point, they stand for nothing but themselves.

I think we need more civil disobedience. Mass civil disobedience if you will. Strength in numbers kind of thing. Because there is a complacency that these people rely on to continue this path of destruction they are set on. We need to be more courageous because often times we are such cowards.

Let us agree that things are becoming worse and will continue to do so.

And so what’s the plan?

Continue to keep your head in the sand? And what of the future? Your kids will follow the same mantra? Because they will live in a failed state.

Because, as much as you’d like to lie to yourself, you will not be making enough money for you and your family to survive here no matter what you are currently deluding yourself about.

Are you seeing these inflation levels? How do you expect to keep up with the increase in prices?


This Conversation Amuses Me

We are all on social media and the conversations are cyclical but no conversation is as boring, unimaginative and uninspired as hetero relationship talk.

At this point it has become amusing to me.

Why you ask?

Because at the foundation of it all is the fact that somehow, someway, these men somehow believe that just by being around they have added value to women’s lives. Just by being in the area.

And then spend time telling you how wrong you are to divest from relationships with them. Like honestly.

At this point I think you must IMAGINE better things for yourself. Especially as capitalism continues to suck everything out of our soul.

And in the absence of imagining better, just maintain silence. πŸ˜ŒπŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ

PS: Before y’all tell me things, disclaimers:

  1. Loneliness and wanting to be partnered with men (I mean, I am) is a valid thing but at this point just go in with realistic expectations. Hollywood and romanticism has got some of you holding onto some romantic notions that make no sense.
  2. Longevity doesn’t mean shit especially when not backed by other things like contentment and joy and all that stuff.
  3. I am not the one.
  4. There is nothing like a feminist marriage.

Week 113: Music I’m Listening To

The new ways in which we are consuming music is fascinating to me. I guess because of how the industry is set up, artists have to do what they must.

For example I recently purchased Wanjine’s new song Aziza, paid directly to him and the song was sent to my email.

I have been listening to these songs on repeat

Little Simz – Venom

Waithaka ft Ayrosh – Horeria

Ghosting everybody, can’t find love in Nairobi

and my absolute fave

Waithaka ft Wendy Kay & JIVU – More

If you wanna keep up with my 2021 faves click here

Things I Want

There are books I want to buy.

I want to buy wax melts and/or essential oils for my warmer because I am enjoying the smell.

I want chenin blanc wine. And I will miss ShopRite because the wine selection was excellent.

I want to be able, for one week, to be at the beach.

I want to be at the beach or near the beach reading the books I want to buy, drinking the wine I love.

If you want to support my cause, buy me coffee or send M-PESA.

Thanks in advance.


Words That Changed My Life

We spend a lot of time online and we come across something that has been written that makes us pause. These are only SOME of the ones I think about often.

This Tweet

And because I was so guilty of this thing, now I check in with myself before I reach out… “Are you bored Ciiku?”

platonic intimacy – Lora Mathis

Your body is the least interesting thing about you.

source: pinterest

(Interchange”body” with “weight”)

I do not know who said this first but yo! it made so much difference in my life.

This tweet

This tweet

β€œTheory is easy, living is hard.” – Kimberly N Foster

This tweet

This made me go into a deep dive into projection and performance.

Random Memories I Have

Back in the day, Fox Drive In would have like a movie marathon on New Year’s Eve. We would watch movies, stop to usher in the New Year and then continue. Get home at like 2 am. What a time! (By the way, what is the issue with that land currently?)

The City Council would come and collect your trash from outside the house (we lived in Donholm at the time – this is late 80s, early 90s). The bins were gray with your house number painted on it. The fact that this small thing was privatised is just one of the ways this country has fallen.

There was a restaurant in town, I want to say Muindi Mbingu Street, where you would sit in the car, they would come out with menus and then you order and the food brought to your car. Who remembers this one specifically?

Ballgums were 50 cents

Uchumi was THE supermarket. And they used to pack your stuff in brown paper bags that looked like this but 3 times bigger

JKIA Resort Club (RIP) was our Sunday plan, or we would go to that chicken place opposite Jevanjee and then go for swimming at Railway Club (RIP).

My Feelings on – “My Love: Six Stories of True Love”

I watched My Love: Six Stories of True Love on Netflix and some things stood out for me.

Not sure there are any spoilers in this.

I am often telling people that Hollywood and books romanticise long term romantic relationships and the best thing about this documentary is that it shows the mundanity of every day life. It depicted it quite well because what we get to see is what these couples on a typical day, which to be honest, is boring but more important than anything is the reality of it. Because you wake up, do what needs to be done and then sleep. Hollywood makes it seem as if these relationships are filled with adventure and excitement but the reality is that majority of the time, it is just mundane things.

There is something to be said or noted about the ages of the women in the heterosexual relationships getting coupled in their late teen years while the men are in their twenties. I mean even the queer relationship had that age difference.

I think a time needs to come where we let go of the narrative that a long lasting relationship is synonymous with a good relationship. True love can exist in relationships that end.

Capitalism is the devil and Poverty is violence. Honestly at the ages of these couples, it was truly something to see them have to do physically demanding work and I was like “it never ends, does it?”

Growing old is a scam

We need to discuss the importance of friendship as people grow older.

It is something I thought about while watching especially the couple in Japan – Coupledom means that sometimes when you want to be alone, you might not be able to because you live with someone and there are other things that must be done within the relationship which supersede the desire to be alone.

Care is so important. Like duty of care.

They Don’t Care About The Children


There are many people I find boring and uninspired and top of the list are those who are anti abortion. Because the truth of the matter is that they do not even, at the base level, care about the children. They just think of themselves as holier than anyone else if they are anti abortion. It is an ego thing to be anti abortion.

Now,I watched this video and it riled me up!!!

And let me tell you…. WHAT THE FUCK was my reaction.

Firstly, the catholic church is just another beast that confounds me. Between the pedophile priests, this documentary and The Keepers which is on Netflix, I can for sure say they beyond criminality of their actions, they really do love and live for money.

Also, it is so clear how religion uses shame to control the world. Because how can you condemn women who are pregnant and unwed in such a manner? Isn’t the greatest commandment love? Where is the love here?

The fact that a children’s home was more concerned about the money they received from the state and from those who came to adopt these kids?????? Capitalism continues to rear its ugly ass head.

The government always sweeps these crimes the church does. I mean, even in The Keepers – the Baltimore leaders did it as well.

You know, as it is said, it takes two to make the children, so why is it the mothers who suffer consequences? The patriarchy continues to do what it does best.