I wonder sometimes whether we, collectively as Kenyans, are in denial.

We are often proud of being Kenyan but most times, the foundation of that pride is weak.

We survive, we cope by:

1.Being delusional about politics. These politicians do not care and no amount of talking about politics will change that or make things better for that matter.

2. Using religion as a distraction. I said what I said.

3. Alcohol. We are a country of binge drinkers and we shouldn’t lie otherwise.

4. Pretending and loudly proclaiming we are better than other African countries.

5. Being unkind to each other. For example on the roads.

6. Joking about random things. Most often at the expense of someone.

7. Paying attention to and giving people money to tell us how to live our lives.

8. Pretending to be too busy to demand leadership. Also failing to realise that the bigger issue is not tribal but rather classism and all the ills that come with it.

I wrote in this post: Having watched that clip of those two men on red table talk plus a couple of comments on father’s day, I must say: There is a way fathers are infantilised when it comes to taking care of their kids that I REFUSE to get behind. How are you kekeing about your partner’s inability to remember things about his own children? Yuck. and then I came across a TikTok that talked about strategic incompetence. I didn’t save it so cannot link it.

But basically it was talking about how domestic work is something everyone should learn for their own living but somehow men are able to pretend they aren’t good at it. No one is born knowing how to do anything (except probably eat, sleep cry and poop). And then we are socialised, taught, we learn by observing etc.

Strategic Incompetence is the art of avoiding undesirable tasks by pretending to be unable to do them, and though the phrase was apparently only recently coined in a Wall Street Journal article, the concept is surely as old as humanity

You know how this incompetence is normalised? By making jokes about men not knowing how to take care of themselves or their offspring. And then people laughing about it. Like. Why? How do you not see the ridiculousness of it all?

Is it because doing this labour makes you feel like your life is important?

And this is where the performance of womanhood comes in.

Domesticity is not a birthright for women. And neither is suffering.

And that is why it grinds my gears when women perform womanhood as portrayed by society as if they were born to be nurturers as opposed to something socialised into them. All so that one can be “chosen”

Let us agree it is ALL a performance, ok? And let us imagine better. For us all.

“The ideal woman has always been conceptually overworked, an inorganic thing engineered to look natural. Historically, the ideal woman seeks all the things that women are trained to find fun and interesting – domesticity, physical self improvement, male approval, the maintenance of congeniality, various forms of unpaid work. The concept of the ideal woman is just flexible enough to allow for a modicum of individuality; the ideal woman always believes she came up with herself on her own.”

Trick Mirror – Jia Tolentino

Have you ever said something and then thought to yourself how dope it is? Recently I’ve been trying to remember the dope things I’ve said

We must really stop consuming things with the sole purpose of critiquing them. That isn’t good for the soul and the assumption that people are doing things in bad faith and it is your job to call them out is something social media and especially twitter made mainstream.

I don’t know what kind of super strength people think love has. That they can love someone so much until they change.

Most men don’t know how to be in communion with others. That is why they want to dominate more than anything else. They only know when women are in servitude to them. And also why I think they are adept at manipulation.

I get that you want to be a priority to someone but you can’t force it. Just the same way there is someone out there who sees you as a priority but they aren’t a priority for you.

Celebrity culture must end soon because I do not understand how people think it makes sense to defend these people and also, how do you decide on politics or what is moral based on what a celebrity said/did?

I do not know why parents think their responsibility for their kids ends at 18. It never ends. Why did you bring them into the world? To learn responsibility? That seems like a very silly reason to have a child (legacy is also a silly reason). People really must accept they just want to feel god like… “i created life” nonsense. I am never impressed unless parents are actively working to make their kids lives better, which must include making the world better.

There is a #girlboss messaging especially on social media that furthers the capitalist agenda (which is an actual agenda) that I REFUSE to be sucked into. Capitalist girl power.. miss me pls

I just basically REFUSE to consume and react to content that is misogynistic, promotes shame and is bad. For example, I refuse to listen to some Kenyan music just because it is Kenyan.

Having watched that clip of those two men on red table talk plus a couple of comments on father’s day, I must say: There is a way fathers are infantilised when it comes to taking care of their kids that I REFUSE to get behind. How are you kekeing about your partner’s inability to remember things about his own children? Yuck.

In the quest for growth and improvement I REFUSE to continually be in that mode – that grind preached by the self help genre. I am my best self at any one moment.