Questions I’d Like to Know Answers to

Why are people who have never taken a moment to think about why they make decisions they make so……. ugh?

Do we have organisers or just talking heads?

Are y’all aware when you make chronically online takes?

When do we stop talking and hit the streets?

Why do men think that women aren’t beautiful until a man tells them so?

Given everything that is said about Kenyan women by Kenyan men, why do they still seek out women? Like for real if we are that bad, might as well leave us alone, or?

And also, why do so many conversations center men, relationships with men and men? (I know the answer to this but my god find other things to talk about online outside of men please)

Guilty Pleasures aren’t Guilty

I play Two Dots on my phone a lot. Like when I have a random moment I’ll open the app and play until I’m out of lives. It’s the kind of thing that would be considered a guilty pleasure.

Lucky for me, I don’t feel guilt for participating in things that I enjoy but society thinks I shouldn’t be doing. It is what it is and I’m not living this life for people, you know?

Can you imagine feeling guilty for doing things that actually bring you joy because some random person will frown on it?

Honestly sometimes we give people too much power in our lives.

Go out and enjoy all those random things you do.

Grace, Greed and Corruption

The other day I saw this poster

Source: Twitter

And I am glad we agree that thieving and corruption is embedded in the Kenyan DNA and that whoever becomes a politician (I refuse to call them leaders because WHO ARE THEY LEADING?) will steal, are corrupt and in the end only care about their own interest. And the same time, will go to church and even consider themselves followers of the words in the Bible.

Now, the other thing we must agree on is that we are not a Christian country. It is one of the biggest lies we perpetuate and no amount of church going and prayer breakfasts will hide the evil that happens daily in this country. And it needs to be said that some of the evil is perpetuated and condoned by church and Christians.

Greed, that is what is in this country’s DNA.

It amuses and infuriates me when people say that these leaders are anointed. Or when Christians say that only God can judge the corrupt and in the same vein will judge those who choose not to be christians.

And don’t get me started on people in private companies and government institutions who continue the cycle of corruption, whether in procurement or finance etc. And then they will declare how God has been good to them. Hypocrites.

You think that Kshs 2 billion that the president said is stolen daily isn’t also stolen by Christians?

That’s the thing though, Hypocrisy.

  • The same people who say that god will provide a plate for children will judge the poor who ask for assistance saying “why have children you can’t take care of.” How do you reconcile these two statements?
  • They have little regard for the environment. They will build houses on riparian land, they will litter, they will not plant trees, they don’t even concern themselves with environmental issues
  • (I watched the video of that apartment block in Kinoo collapsing and I pondered whether the person building it goes to church – because the likelihood is OBVIOUSLY HIGH.)
  • There is an unkindness Christians have that is caused by feeling that they are superior than anyone else, and it is mostly because they go to church and read the Bible and not because they actually do anything better. The judgement, the lack of concern for people, the world etc
  • They do not hold leaders to task, they take the coward’s way out of “praying about it” – what absolute cowardice. And that is the thing about prayer – if change happens due to something else, christians are quick to say that their prayers were answered. But what happens when nothing changes, if things become worse, like they are in Kenya – then what???
  • Also, let us not forget how materialist and consumed by possessing “worldy things” the church and its people have become.
  • I’m just going to say it, Christianity as practiced in Kenya is hypocritical and performative primarily because it’s mostly about 1. The idea that they deserve to be blessed with material things and 2. The promise of going to heaven because they label themselves christian and go to church as opposed to the idea that they should be doing good deeds on earth.

PS: I know there are about 4,000 religions in the world but I want to make it abundantly clear that this post is about Kenyan Christians and their hypocrisy. Again as per my usual disclaimer this is my ruminations about what I see happening.

Utumishi kwa Wote

If you want to read political writing on the Kenya Police please click on this link here.

This is a post on me ruminating about police.

Due to the construction on Waiyaki Way, I have been using Jogoo Road quite often. And I have been curious how much the police make on bribes because FOR SURE, Lusaka Road and Jogoo Road are over policed and they stop matatus all the time – and we know what that means. BRIBES.

It made me continue to see the intersection between how they speak about over policing in poor areas in the US and how that is the case here.

The truth is that

  • We have been scared to the point that we believe that the police are necessary. The truth is that most of the crime that happens is due to poverty.
  • On top of that, the existence of the police does nothing to deter crime.
  • And let us not forget that the police exist to protect the interest of the rich. That is why even when there are protests over issues that would benefit the lives of police, they still brutalise the protestors. The reality is that it is Utumishi Kwa wenye wako na pesa.
  • There is a reason why the police in Kenya are chosen how they are chosen.
  • There is a reason why police are gleeful when they are tormenting people. It is because of the power they believe they have at that moment. They might have terrible living situation, low salary etc but at that point when they are harassing someone, they feel semblance of control.
  • If there were no traffic police, would Kenyans be reasonable on the road? One might be asking, especially since Matatus becomes a menace when there are no police. This has nothing to do with police and more to do with our culture. As I have said a couple of times, Kenyans are unkind and you can see it on the roads. Capitalism also comes into play here but also we are unkind and unreasonable drivers.

More Opinions No One Asked For

It really bothers me when people question others who have dated (and are not married) for a long time. When people are married for a long time it is seen as a good thing but somehow if people aren’t (officially) married but still together for a long time, it is seen as strange. That just seems weird to me.

The underlying notion being that the goal of all romantic relationships remains marriage. Not a healthy relationship, but this government sanctioned union. People need to unlearn that and imagine other ways relationships can exist.

I know it’s a human thing but maybe because I’m here I feel like Kenyans have delusions of grandeur, much like Americans who think their country is the greatest despite evidence to the contrary. Most times, even when people are saying things about Kenya, imagine it is ok to say “enyewe there is a point.”

As social media continues to be integral to our existence we must learn not to internalise everything we come across. Because imagine, it isn’t about you. Don’t try and make what you read, see, hear fit into who you are, what you think and feel (including mental health diagnoses), opinions etc just because you saw it without further thought.

The few readers of this blog, I’ve been sick hence the silence but like the ashes, we rise (FYR it isn’t covid, and that test isn’t pleasant yikes).

Kenyan TikTok

People often tell me I’m hard on Kenyan TikTok but I do not think I am.

I’m just going to say it, I believe it is a lack of personality across the spectrum is so loud on TikTok. Like if you don’t have a personality you come off as boring and that’s most of Kenyan TikTok. Especially when all you can do is copy what other more interesting people do.

Even the refusal to accept this criticism is emblematic of many things wrong with Kenyans on many social media platforms. By design I can just scroll past your boring nonsense and that is my criticism of the otherwise pretty good TikTok algorithm. I shouldn’t be forced to watch Kenyan TikTok just because we are in the same location.

And honestly that snarkiness that is rampant on Twitter doesn’t translate well on TikTok. Those TikToks that are dope and engaging and entertaining require that one have a personality. I wish, most – just like me – would opt to only be viewers. Not all the time posting.

Anyway, some few things I’ve observed thus far:

We’ve been told that we can monetize travel and eating out and that’s why many posts are about that. Oh I went here even if all I did was walk through the place.

I did not get TikTok to see you try and sell me something. And then starting the TikTok with “Don’t scroll” means I will scroll immediately. The posts are dry!!!

Twitter lied to you that you are a thought leader, that shit is boring on TikTok.

How many HR tips can one give? This also goes for every other career talking head person on there…. it is just I don’t know….. dry.

Kenyans married to white people are just…..ugh. This isn’t a personality my people please.

White people with passport privilege moving to Kenya and Kenyans fangirling in the comments will forever be disgusting. Instead of welcoming them, more Kenyans should be commenting “smells like white privilege” in the comments.

Stop taking memes from Twitter and then putting a laughing track on them and thinking that is content.

Christians and other Bible thumpers. *facepalm*

Misogynists. Oh lawd the boring misogynists. The unoriginality of it all.

Thoughts on “This is Pop”

The Boyz II Men episode was fascinating to me because history will repeat itself over and over. Even right now if you look you will see a repeat of the same.

JC Chasez has always been the better singer in NSYNC. Justin Timberlake owes Britney Spears a lot. A hell of a lot.

The auto tune episode where the dude said that auto tune now allowed them to choose between a beautiful person as opposed to someone who can sing is another reason why I believe Jorja Smith is an industry plant.

Listen, most of the time I think people think Kanye West is a genius because he said it.

T-Pain said many things but what I’d like to remind many is when he said “if you don’t like it then I didn’t make it for you”

As I watched Ace of Base I actually found out they aren’t neo nazis. The founder in his teens was part of a group that had those beliefs and he acknowledged, recanted and has apologised over and over about it.

Sexism exists in every single industry and facet.

The country episode was so white you’d forget the genre was initially a black genre.

Let’s specifically talk about drug use and how men are forgiven for it and lauded for overcoming it and women are left to die in obscurity. What happened with Tanya Tucker has happened to many women and a damn shame.

Skin, in the Britpop episode, said “that was what the straights were doing” made me chuckle. Let’s normalise that!

The history of Glastonbury Festival(the biggest festival in the world) is fascinating. Because even the founder was not in the industry and has been able to sustain it for decades. When he talks about the ethos I had to look up the price of tickets and just so you know, it’s cheaper than Coachella.

We need more protest songs. All over the world.

There is power in music and anyone who denies this isn’t listening. And to be honest that’s why leadership all over the world try to suppress it by limiting resources towards it.

What Christianity has done all over the world is just absolutely appalling (this is in direct reference to them forcing Indigenous Americans to assimilate , not sing or dance etc).

Singers need to realise that sometimes, they can’t write good songs and should really consider paying song writers.

Hegemonic Ideals

You know, I am always wondering whether most of us are living the lives our parents want for us and/or the life society wants us to live or what we want. The truth is that our decisions do not happen in a vacuum and therefore it is a tricky situation all around.

Hegemony.

That domesticity thing we do is a performance of femininity as prescribed by society. The things done so a man can pick you, so one can be chosen is a performance. And we do it because you’ve been told a man choosing you gives you validation as a human and a sense of worth.

The other day my mum was talking about how she has started using some of her special/good dishes instead of waiting for visitors and I was telling her how even that is a performance; leaving the best for other people instead of ourselves. Even when I watch house shows and see people talk about how they “love to host” I sometimes feel like that is seen as a requirement for life and therefore we perform it even if hosting causes us anxiety. I mean, I have been there. Never have I felt so settled as when I decided that I did not want people in my house.

And that is why some project onto people who are living their truth, who are bold enough to say that this is who I am and this is what I will or won’t do. It bothers us when people stand in their “no” or “yes” because they refuse to swayed by expectations.

In related news, I have been thinking about personality recently spurred on by a TikTok video that I watched. And most of what we consider personality is performance. I wrote about it briefly in my newsletter. Thanks for subscribing to it.

Addendum

Sometimes I feel like I am talking in circles but I think I am mostly working through my thoughts on this blog.

Are you truly living in the fullness of yourself?

The Lie of Romance

If there is one thing I completely agree with Alain de Botton about is that Romanticism needs to ummmm end.

But before I even go into that, let me say that we mostly like love the feeling and not love the reality of it all. We like the butterflies in the stomach nonsense. What Hollywood (and the philosophy of romanticism) has made us believe love should be.

Anyway

I was watching a True Crime documentary where the girlfriend of a convicted sex offender calls that man “romantic” because he wrote her letters. A SEXUAL DEVIANT. As if the fact that he is romantic should somehow mean something. He killed people Kayleigh, we don’t care what he wrote to you while in JAIL.

Romanticism is why we think in these romantic relationships, one has made amends because they brought flowers and chocolate instead of watching someone’s behaviour. It is why we think responding to texts is a bigger deal than it really should be. It is why we believe someone sharing inane details about their daily lives means they are emotionally open. It is why we put credence to ridiculous things like diamond rings and weddings. And most often than not, heterosexual relationships are better books than in real life, and that’s because women write romance books.

PS: I don’t care about your token good relationship, calm down.

Even astrology apps when talking about relationships focus on romantic over others which COME FUCKING ON!

And that is just part of the lie, isn’t it?

That focus on firstly, romantic relationships and secondly things that further capitalism (buying things to show affection for example).

I keep saying that I do not say all this to minimise the significance of romantic and/or sexual relationships but I do think we must think of the messaging out there a bit differently. I also want to be clear that companionship and marriage are not synonymous despite people wanting to act like it is.

And so let’s talk marriage because most often, the expectation is that a romantic relationship will lead to marriage. We must continue to ask ourselves why we are taught to look forward to marriage, to desire it even and also to want happiness and yet the two are at constant odds (especially women). And also, let’s not forgot the fact that a marriage is a government institution -which we don’t talk about enough.

And you know, despite years of seeing that this institution done one way doesn’t work but somehow we think we are the feneratjon that’s gonna do it better. And then we find ourselves in that cycle of deep hatred, discontent and anguish. A whole reimagination is needed.

I think beyond self awareness we have to accept how society and expectations thereof are ingrained in us. There are things we do thinking they are being done in self awareness but really, we are just doing what’s expected of us.

Are we valid, worthy if we aren’t “chosen“?

Is it what you desire or is it social conditioning?

Is it who you are or are you performing a role?

Who Am I? Random Things About Me

What song is in your rotation currently?

Not even gonna front, this is my best song of this year so far.

What’s the best feeling in the world?

Knowing you are going to have the best sleep ever. Like when you are about to sleep and know it’s gonna be good. And then the actual sleep. Sleeping.

Best vocalist in my opinion?

Always Luther. But current crop of musicians?

Gallant.

A random memory

The 1987 All African Games at Kasarani and we actually went. Have no pictures to prove this but we did. I was young but that is not the point.

Fox Drive In was the plan when we were kids especially when we moved to Thika Road. I really wonder what the story is with that.

An Out of Pocket opinion you have

People who cross the road under a bridge have a death wish. Do with that what you must.

Women who think they are special snowflakes and certain things won’t happen to them almost always end up having that thing happen to them.

Listening to things about your kids isn’t interesting to me (sometimes, not always).