Random Thoughts I Have Had

I’m always amused that, people who find men doing caricatures of women in bad clothes and terrible make up funny, have a lot to say about Elsa Majimbo

Did they update text books to indicate that the government completely killed the pyrethrum industry and that it is no longer a cash crop?

Has anyone else ever wondered whether some of the philosopher’s musings were made when they were drunk?

Some of what people consider to be “growth” is a one way trip to individualism and deepening how capitalism uses individualism to further it’s agenda.

Getting caught up in an anime is one of the best pleasures for me and the fact that I am struggling to do it at this time saddens me.

I sometimes wonder how my life would have shaped up if I pursued a mathematics degree as I once wanted to. Or if I knew of the existence of music ethnography.

Remember chain emails? I think WhatsApp forwards are the replacement. I wish people resisted the urge to forward those things. Self control people.

Finally, An Explanation

Over the weekend, I watched this Lindsey Ellis video

And finally I can explain my relationship to Twitter – if you follow on Insta I spoke about going back recently

(isn’t it dope when someone explains what you are feeling better than you ever will?)

Also, I know that video is hella long and I do not expect y’all to watch it unless you enjoy her – which I do.

And before I continue, please know that I understand that Twitter can do good, illuminating conversations can be had there, jokes and memes and provides specific things for people etc xyz.

This post is about why I, who has been there, done that, WOULD RATHER EAT SAND than do that ever.

1. The part she talks about the person people are angry at each day. Honestly, I think people believe an angry pile on on one person a day is like a personality trait or makes them interesting.

2. No space for nuance

3. Bad faith arguments are rife on twitter especially by those who use personal anecdotes to justify saying nonsensical things.

4. You know that anger you release in a “gotcha” moment? And then you get retweeted and then it is a serotonin boost. I’m not a fan.

5. That thing where people feel they are owed a personal apology for things they don’t even know about. What’s that about?

6. There is a lack of understanding about what “difference of opinion” means.

7. People acting like beacons of wokeness and their personal lives are filled with the absolute opposite. Honestly this is all social media and I get it but yeah I’m including it.

8. Performative outrage. Mob justice. I will not be explaining this.

9. The performance of it all is hilarious to me. Because it’s easy to say Insta is “fake” but come on y’all…. Twitter, same same. You can have a whole different personality on Twitter. As someone aptly said, “Some of you tweet as if you are beautiful”

10. There is a belief that because someone is an expert in one thing, then they are an expert in everything.

11. A lack of empathy.

By the way, this being said – I get most traction on this blog from Twitter and I appreciate y’all. ☺️☺️

White Mediocrity on Netflix

Have you ever watched something on Netflix and been like “What is this?”?

This was me when I watched Dream Home Makeover.

I mean, we have seen the formula many times, a couple doing home makeovers and to be honest, there are many that are absolutely great and entertaining, Chip and Joanna Gaines for example.

However, I have never seen such a bland couple devoid of personality before on a home make over show.

I am truly surprised it was picked up for a second season because

  1. It is cringe worthy in the sense that instead of even talking about the design elements they are actually blabbering. We never get to see why certain decisions were made and whatnot as if they are scared people will steal their ideas.
  2. The couple has no personality outside of an Instagram and pinterest aesthetic.
  3. Their designs lack personality. The end product often looks like a staged house as opposed to a house that people will live in.

Let me not even get started on another show “Virgin River” which is basically Dr Quinn Medicine Woman interspersed with Gilmore Girls redux.

There is too many stories out there for Netflix to be doing this surely.

Choices have Consequences

I am fascinated by people who say choices have consequences and then turn around and unironically also deem that men shouldn’t face consequences for things they CHOOSE to do.

Choices have consequences until a man chooses to steal a woman’s phone information from his place of work and texts her and subsequently loses the job and then somehow that is “too harsh”

Choices have consequences until a man chooses to talk nonsense and then gets called out for it and then somehow “you can’t speak your opinion”

Choices have consequences until a man steps out of his relationship and the partner leaves and then somehow it’s “men are that way” or “persevere”

IT IS ALL FUNNY TO ME!!

Clothes Make The Person

I watched Worn Stories and decluttered my closet this past weekend. And so a post on clothes developed.

Worn Stories for those who haven’t watched is a docuseries on Netflix where “people unpack fascinating and quirky stories around they are most meaningful pieces of clothing“. In the first episode on Community there was a nudist resort that was featured and one of the ladies said something that I thought I agree with in that we use clothing as a disguise of our true selves (episode 4 is a great one if you are curious).

I had wanted to do a closet clean up for a while because I realised that there are clothes I have that I don’t enjoy wearing and I only even purchased because they were expected of me (long story for which I do not have the bandwith).

In addition to this, mother is collecting clothing for mission work she is doing in church so I have been collecting clothes from around me and decided I should do it too.

Do your clothes represent who you are or do they follow fashion trends?

What are you revealing/hiding with your clothes?

Do you have any clothes you hold on to even though you don’t wear them? I do and I have no shame about them. They bring me joy even if I cannot wear them. 🙂

Random Thoughts I Have Had Lately

I could listen to someone talk about something I don’t care about if I love how they speak. Two YouTubers come to mind.

Entitlement is a fascinating concept because I am so curious, aside from society telling them so, how do men embody and internalise that entitlement to the labour of women?

We can’t help or avoid performing. I think it is integral to living. At times we just have to do what we need to do.

People can’t be who you want them to be.

I’m not as I think I am. This makes sense to me but sometimes I seem to be looking at myself from an aerial viewpoint and asking myself “is that me?”

I don’t really need to be talking as much as I thought I did.

Art and mainly music has eased a lot of my anxiousness.

I deeply detest capitalism.

These words. So so true.

_________________

I had another post planned for today but my mind can’t focus. A lot is going on in my head and life but yeah. Hopefully I’ll finish it for next week.

In the meantime if you’ve read until the end, I appreciate you.

Gender Based Violence, Rape Culture and Male Entitlement

TW: Rape, Assault

Rape culture is systemic, embedded in society and acting like it is individual failing is in reality a tool of the system. The truth of the matter is that the patriarchy allows, has institutionalised and encourages cis men’s entitlement, violence and as long as this continues, statistics on non-men experiencing abuse will not decrease.

picture source: here

If you were to be asked why men are quick to be violent to women, what would you say? What are the threads that connect on this behaviour? Why do heterosexual men think they are owed something by women? Why do men think that joking about violence is not a big deal despite evidence to the fact?

Because wanting to act like these things happen in a vacuum will not lead us to freedom (in this case freedom means being able to live our lives without fear of violence).

TO THIS DAY, we still have to explain to people that coercion is not consent. We still have to tell people that saying no is not an invitation to convince someone to say yes. We are still talking about why rape jokes fuel rape culture. And at this point we have to agree that there are people who are willfully ignorant and also, that men do not care and want to hold onto male privilege while at the same time be seen as nice guys™.

And let’s not forget that men are rarely held accountable – by the system and even individually – for being rapists or even those who fuel rape culture (insert media personalities here).

Whenever an incident of gender based violence is catapulted in media (because we know that there are many more that we do not get to hear about), the talking points remain the same year in, and year out. And you cannot convince me that men are as ignorant as they want to pretend to be or that they care about gender based violence. And even instead of caring enough to make any change, they are busy saying “Not All Men” or “Educate us” or “men are also raped (which they are but why only bring it up when we are talking about women?) or that bullshit of “I have a sister, mother, daughter” (which basically means they only see women as people when they are related to them) etc. That, is not helpful and further proves that men and the system as a whole are not interested in relinquishing male privilege as they keep derailing conversations.

And we know that men know what is happening and it disgusts me that we have to keep asking them to hold men accountable. It is terrible that we have to keep debating our humanity and telling (almost begging) men that our bodies are our own. And that it is not for them to comment on or dominate.

Men do not care beyond their need to look like they are “nice”; benevolent misogyny will not save us. Men who address women instead of their fellow kinfolk/perpetrators will not save us. If for anything else, no matter how much of an ally one is, there is no interest in relinquishing the privilege and it is SO OBVIOUS especially because they will never talk to their fellow men about these things – just random posts on social media.

Beyond a change in the system, are there things that individuals can do to change things? Yes. We should support efforts of grassroots organisations who do work in this area, men especially should open their wallets. It is not only about tweeting support dudes. The time for performative allyship is over.

Resources

Crime data – Here

FIDA – Here

Usikimye – Here

For viewing

Post script

I cannot imagine engaging with misogynists and rape apologists on social media platforms at this moment. As if it makes a difference. It doesn’t. And if it did, we still wouldn’t be having this conversation. Something would have changed. But nothing has. NOTHING.